This is something that I normally don't have a hard time with. So, it's foreign to me when I feel like I don't want things to change. I typically love change: I change our furniture around quite a bit, I love going new places, I can't stand eating at the same restaurants all the time, I like to travel and experience new places, I don't like wearing the same outfit more than twice(I wear different combinations of the same pieces), etc.
But with Micah it's different. I find myself every day wishing he'd never grow up and that he'd stay my little innocent baby forever. Don't get me wrong, I love each new stage he's in and I want to see him grow and prosper and achieve in his life. But for whatever reason, I'm not just sitting here wishing for the next stage of life like I usually am. I am always looking forward to the next thing I get to do and I think sometimes it's to my detriment because I might miss out on the present or just spend the present wishing for the future. Maybe this is God's way of letting me be fully present in Micah's life and not just wish for the next stage.
Either way, it's a weird feeling for me and I've been very emotional about it lately. When someone even brings up him crawling eventually or starting cereal in a few weeks, or whatever the next stage is, I get teary!
I just want to be in the present and experience every single thing with my son while I can because they truly do grow up so fast.
Does anyone else resonate with me here?
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6 comments:
Totally... Each new thing is so much fun, but you really have to enjoy it because it's gone SO fast! Before long, you will hardly remember what it's like to have a child that you can sit in one place and know he'll be in the same place if you turn around for a second! (As I write this Sadie is in the next room playing with her ball popper and she just crawled down the 3 stairs to the front door to get a ball--I have never let her do that by herself before! I guess she thinks she's big enough!)
Dear Amy- I know exactly how you feel and all I can say is that you are a great hands-on mom that loves her baby. It's a good thing. Everyone does say that it goes fast and, sadly, it does. However, you love each new stage and it is just as wonderful as the last. Take many pictures and videos and enjoy each beautiful and frustrating moment of being a mom. I laugh at myself because these days I want Noah to grow up just to get over the terrible 2's but he can "stop" growing after that and I don't want Levi to grow up at all. I know how you're feeling girl! :) YOu'll just have to keep having those babies!! :)
I hear ya sista! God willing, you will get to experience it again with another child. I think it was easier (and still is) each stage Elias gets into. But I mourn the loss with each stage Elena outgrows because I know it might be the last time I do whatever that was (nurse, put her in a crib, etc). I am trying to just enjoy the moments and write them down so I don't forget these wonderful days!
Let me just say I feel a little bit less this way now that Grace is two (not her best stage). But I still get sad thinking about her going to school (and she is only 2). I seriously freak out at the idea of sending her all by herself to school! I am enjoying Faith's "stages" more because I'm not as anxious to see her change, more content to just enjoy!
Oh, girl, I'm with ya! I was tearing up reading your blog, so what does that tell ya? :) I love every second with Ethan and get so sad when I think about the time "chores" take away from that precious time. Even though I know those jobs are a blessing (being healthy enough, etc., to take care of my family) but I just want to cuddle him all day because it is FLYING by, and I'm pretty sure he'll be my last :( Speaking of that sweet little guy, he's calling!
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